I never wrote a blog in my life but I finally found a motivation: I have decided to stop smoking! After 17 years averaging a pack a day, it is the first time ever I take the decision. I have been thinking about it for some years now but never have I said "I will try for real".
This blog is to help me log my thoughts and evaluate my progress throughout the experience. I truly hope I will one day say "I am over it!". Who knows maybe this will be helpful to others too (not that I am expecting anyone to actually read it. There must be thousands of similar blogs out there.) You are doing this for yourself G, first and foremost.
First things first, I believe I have a preconception that I will never be able to quit. I simply can't imagine life without it. It has accompanied me since my teens, I have been so fateful to the habit and it is anchored in my identity.
Yet I know it is 99% mental and that many people have stopped successfully. I would be a fool not to even try. So that was the first step towards deciding, get myself to acknowledge that I will at least really try. Sounds absurd but one has to trick one´s own mind, just like when I go swimming and I tell myself my goal is just to touch the water with the tip of my big toe. Once I actually get there, change into my bathing suit, and dip the toe, I always end-up doing at least a 30 minute swim.
But before I decide to try, I built-up a mind set.
1- I want to quit: For over a year now I have been telling myself and others. I want to quit. I wish I could/would quit, etc. I would ask ex-smokers about their experiences and so on.
2- Signed-up to yoga a year earlier. Actually my best friend and my girlfriend signed me up and paid the first month for my 33rd birthday. I have been going regularly, about twice a week. Love it.
3- Went to see a hypnotist about a month ago hoping for a magical effortless brainwash. I had a cigarette 8 hours later. I still mention it because it might have influenced the most important step of all. Deciding to try.
4- Chose the timing that would fit me. In my case I chose my up-coming 34th birthday as I figured it would give me something more to celebrate and make it an easy date to remember. I figured I would be dead by 33 like all important historical figures. But I am still around, so now I have no excuses. Actually I have been very depressed in my life lately. I procrastinate at work, go home, smoke, drink, and watch series. My company has not paid us in 3 months. My apartment is a mess. I start to worry about the upcoming rent. My girlfriend is getting bored with me and I get annoyed at her. In short, I am a zombie, I have nothing to be proud about in my life right now, I haven´t accomplished anything, I desperately need a win. Stopping smoking would be a great win! And it is 100% in my power to do so.
5- Consider the options for treatment and support. There is the nicotine gum added to cold Turkey and will power technique. You have the medications. There is a book which supposedly minds you to stop effortlessly. Hypnotist, acupuncture, laser therapy, electronic cigarettes and probably much more techniques are also available out there, some of them actually contradict one another.
6- Pick a method and stick to it. I was so sure I would fail that I decided to try all of them together expect the ones that seem too hard, and the ones that contradict other easier methods. So I chose hypnotism, acupuncture, the book and champix, added to Tony Robbins exercises on goal settings, Deepak Chopra book on spirituality (mind over body), as well as other tricks such as chewing gum (non-nicotine based), and signing-up to the gym. I excluded cold turkey (obviously), the nicotine gum (I am addicted to nicotine so it seemed stupid to chew it, if you are addicted to cocaine you don´t resort to changing the absorption method.). My fear is to always crave the damn stick and I hope to find a way to rewire my brain so that I reach a point where I snap out of it, forget it was ever even part of me. I want to be a non-smoker again instead of an ex-smoker. I am a ex-smoker every morning when I wake-up. An ex-smoker wants to smoke but doesn´t. A non-smoker doesn´t smoke, period.
